20+ is not just the most critical but the most thrilling phase of life as well!

Okay, this post is not going to be biased. Initially you can say that it is not just 20+ but every other phase of life that is decisive, critical and scary. I won't disagree for we feel that in every age. But why I say that for 20+ has a reason; and here I am talking about both men and women for what they experience. Before you enter the world outside, when you are either in your school or college, being in your late teens or when you have just turned 18, life is a little different. You are always surrounded either by your friend circle or by your family. In fact, there is a definite sphere in which you live everyday. You follow a specific routine. Even if you feel low, confused or lonely, you have somebody or the other to be with. Moreover, the issues that you face are not so critical even if they are the decisive points, because there is always an alternative or may be you know there is still time.

The real creepiness comes when you finally leave that comfortable zone, your place, that definite sphere of known people and the stable routine. You have to work things out alone because everybody you had with you have probably walked ahead or may be have already figured things out. Being in your teens or 18+ seems like a long lost phase for which you crave because life seemed to have been much simpler back then. Somehow, worrying about the usual problems between friends or about the boring assignments seems better than worrying about handling the complicated relationships with people you hardly know, or faking out yourself everyday outside at the workplace for something you really don't want to do seems to tear you apart, making you feel like escape from this kind of a life.

Career seems to be the most disturbing aspect because you know that you are no longer in school or college where you could think of another alternative in case one did not seem to be your passion. It is the critical time when you finally need to understand your actual dreams and figure out their compatibility with the world around you. You know it is too late to perform hit-and-trial by now. The complications arise when you know that your loved ones expect a lot from you and you may not want to do it their way. You have a different perception and you hardly have time to prove yourself now. The pressure comes from peers too if you are on a different track. By now, they are already busy in their own lives. You meet occasionally like earlier but your issues need to be tackled by yourself. You might see some of your closest friends being settled for their chosen roads while you are still struggling to find out what you want to do. You might even have to abandon your past completely and start afresh, giving up people who stabbed you, friends who turned out to be fake and creating a whole new version of yourself again.

Relationships seem to disturb you more. You might have differences with the opinions that your family has about you and your aspirations or about the way you lead your life. You hardly get time to escape from your work which seems to drain all the positive vibes from you and refrains you from being who you want to be, which you have probably forgotten. You miss your old days, you want to go back and stay peacefully with your loved ones again. You feel as if you are already old and tired. You feel lonely but struggling with yourself, you might be alone. By the age of 20+, average men and women have faced at least two break ups after having given in all their efforts.(Except the lucky ones who find the right ones in their first attempt and stay together). The result being that they either feel too tired of finding somebody again to go through that series of putting efforts, getting shattered and then rebuilding themselves or they have probably given up the thought of being with somebody and prefer to stay single throughout. Some even try to explore the world everyday giving up everything else around them and try to blend themselves into the different spheres around them for a short duration, in an attempt to find themselves. Others just drag with their lives or give up the usual way getting a totally different direction.

By the time you realize what you really want to do, you know you are lagging behind in the race and then you somehow manage to chase it successfully. Following what you have figured out, you even manage to find somebody for yourself, probably realizing how it came to that point. By your late 20's, you know what you are meant to be and probably by your early 30's, you have got a normal routine and a settled life which of course brings more responsibilities but somehow you are contented to be in a comfortable sphere again with issues of its own because now you find it better. After all, life goes on and every sphere brings its own pros and cons.

But looking back, you will surely agree that 20+ brought the most thrilling phase of your life and made you find yourself making you choose the most important roads of your life, probably the most unexpected ones where life turned different in reality. So, if you are in 20+ and experiencing all this, don't give up, don't be shattered. It is just another phase. Enjoy the thrill and challenge yourself everyday. You will look back, miss it and be proud of it one day too! :)

Journeys are always more beautiful than destinations

We all are on a journey, take it as the collection of the journeys that we pursue everyday or as the ultimate journey of life. Agreed? Some of these journeys are chosen by us. We have beautiful plans for them. However, there are some which are not chosen by us. Some turns of life make us pursue them unwillingly. The more we try to escape this fact, the more we will be made to face it that somewhere or the other, we are mere travellers in this cosmos, unaware of the people we may meet or the places we may see on our roads.

Everyday when we step out in the world with the beginning of a new day, do we know what will happen or whom we will meet? No, because that is also a journey. We might travel only for a short distance to our workplace but  that in itself contains a beautiful journey. We are with ourselves consciously for that time. Those short-termed precious moments are the ones where we are alone, without having to worry about the day or the past or the future. Those are the moments gifted as a boon to look into ourselves, think about ourselves and feel blessed by the beauty of life, no matter what the circumstances might be. When we take a look around in this short journey, we might notice subtle details of life which have their own meaning relevant to everybody in this world. It could probably be a place we come across everyday, or some people whom we see everyday, or may be even some objects that we see everyday but do not notice. They are all a part of our journey and become attached to it. They leave an impact on us too, because unknowingly our journey gets crossed with theirs. Everybody is on a journey and at sometime, they are meant to be connected to ours.

Have you wondered when we are planning a vacation or going to some distant place, we get a lovely tingling feeling about the journey inside? And the beautiful part is when we literally spend time wondering about the plans to make it a journey worth the experience. We might keep discussing, planning with materialistic amenities or may even keep wondering about what else to be done; because we put all of our spirit into planning for the journey. And it is only while travelling to the destination that we experience the otherwise unnoticed joys of life. Ever wondered why the breeze from the window feels so soothing, as if that is the best companion ever, playing the strings of the soul and we wish that it remains the same way; or why the places that we see being seated at one place seem to be just meant for us, as if we can read the stories behind those places, as if we know all those places and have always lived there, as if they are our own in those moments of our journey, as if our whole journey is meant to revolve around them and would never end; or why we tend to be at peace and on our own when on a journey; or why in those moments of being away from the social world, we tend to explore ourselves more, be it with our lives or with our dreams or with our unanswered questions or with our dark aspects or with everything that was/is a part of us somewhere; or why sometimes the people we meet on a journey to our destination seem as if known since always, and we get beautiful memories or relations for lifetime; or why we feel as if at that moment we are connected more to the world beyond materialism, the one which we actually belong to, making us wonder about some very important things of our lives. Probably because those are the moments given to us for that purpose. And this beautiful feeling leaves its impact on our souls, but ends as soon as we reach our destination, because it was meant to be lived for that time. The consequences would remain but the moments may not, however their memories would. And this feeling can always be relived when we are on a journey again. May be when we are returning from a place, the memories of that place and all that we did will remain in our souls, but this feeling would be entirely different from the one we had while reaching the place earlier. It would be less of that previous excitement and enthusiasm and more of nostalgia, wishing to go back.

The same aspect connects to the ultimate journey of our lives, the one where we as humans, walk forth everyday, completely unaware of the situations or the people to come, the one where we travel everyday without being aware of the journey, but to find the reasons of our existence. We meet many people in this journey, live numerous moments, carry memories, learn lessons, live to ecstasy, cry to the core, and then? Then we continue on our journey; because we have to go further, alone. The journey is ours, only ours and nobody can live it for us. Actually, nobody can know us completely or live it for us. We are humans, we always have a part inside us, unknown to others. And it is not necessary to know that about anyone. What we need to do is just live the journey with others or with ourselves where they cross our ways, with our true passion and with those little joys of life which create moments to be carried wherever we go, no matter when. We will meet people who will teach us lessons, who might hurt us, who will be a blessing to us. Every person we meet influences the course of our journey in some way. While some of them might give a slight turn, others might touch our journey in a way that it gets deeply affected. Still, we have to continue further, being what we have become in our journey till now. And being that way, we carry a part of what those people, places and moments made us. In the end, we will always remember each and every part of this journey, owing it to all that happened, to all those who found us. And while on our journey, we might have influenced the journeys being pursued by others too. All we can do is bless the people we meet, give them the best of themselves by making them look inside to realize that they can make it up to the end beautifully, and leave them with memories too. At the end of their journeys, they will remember the ones who influenced them the most too, like we do. And by the time we really reach the end, we will realize that we have found the reason of our journey and existence; the aspect why we started it.                   

I travel everyday to find myself in this universe,

 I pursue my journey with the undying faith to reach the end,

 I live the people, places, moments to carry till there,

 And when I reach there, I will know why I travelled,

 In the end, I will be proud of this journey and contented too..."

We live exactly what we think!

The title would seem obvious to you. You might say 'Of course, what's new in that?' I don't intend to create a new theory indeed. It is just a common experience that goes unnoticed and I am trying to highlight its importance over here. Look at what you are doing right now, be it the smallest or the most insignificant act. Let's connect it with with what you might be doing right now and I will tell you how you are creating an attachment of your moments to come unknowingly.

I start with the same question again. Answer yourself- What are you doing right now? You would say you are reading or probably listening to songs or chatting right away or even chilling out at home. There could be anything that you are doing, but I am sure you are thinking about something too. Something for sure, be it very small or insignificant. Some thought exists at the back of your mind always. And unknowingly you are connecting the task that you are doing with that random thought. Say for instance, you are driving and in your subconscious mind, unknowingly, you have a very faint vision of a thought about your aspirations. It may not be dominant but you are surely thinking about it somewhere deep inside your heart. As soon as you are interrupted by something else while driving or if you reach your destination, that thought will also come to a hault, but it will remain in your mind. The next time when you drive, even if you are not at all thinking about your aspirations and there are other thoughts with which you are preoccupied, you will still have the thoughts about your aspirations revolving in your mind, even when you try to shed them off and concentrate your mind somewhere else, they will remain inside, and every time you drive, you will have a trace of them coming up to the surface. Each time you drive, the thoughts in your conscious or subconscious mind will get collected inside you, and will try to get revived when you do the same task again.

Now, how does that happen, you will wonder. Well, there's certainly no superpower involved but yes there is the magic of this universe that plays a role in this! Every time you think about something or do something, you are leaving traces in this universe. Traces of your thoughts, and those traces are being collected. They remain conserved here itself, around you. The task that you do while thinking about them sets itself on a frequency that matches every time you do it. Hence they are brought back to you when you do it again even if you are not trying to think about them. In fact, these are just instances of those unexplained reasons which you don't find when you experience this.

You don't realize but you are always leaving traces whenever you do anything. Be it anything. And that's why, sometimes, you might even tend to receive trace by others when you reach the same frequency of thoughts that they have left in their traces. That explains the coincidences between human beings experienced for the smallest of actions that go unnoticed. Yes, there is a lot in this universe that goes unnoticed and that you never tend to understand, leaving it as something obvious.

I am sure now you must be thinking that if such is the case, then is it possible that whatever you experience is a result of what you think. Yes is the answer. You are unconsciously creating the situations that you face in daily life. Even if they are negative at times, it is because you were wondering without noticing that something will go wrong and your fears start getting collected. The traces return to you in materialistic form. Do you realize what I am trying to say?

You are creating each step you take. It is in your mind, in your control. And with every task that you do, you are attaching the thoughts in your mind with them, which will come back to you when you do the task again. I think I am clear that what you need to is just feel good and do the best with everything that you do, because that is what will come back to you when you do it every time

And of course, I may be sounding the same, but as I always say, "Everything that happens has a reason, and your task is to wait and watch and you will find it. So if you believe, everything will fall in the right place, as you think in this cosmos, because it will remain and come back to you."

Why does it get difficult to follow our own chosen path sometimes?

Being human beings, we have been blessed with an intellect to see, observe, calculate, reason out and decide our own choices in life. Probably one of the most important factors which makes us different from other living beings in the universe. So using our very special intellects, it is solely our responsibility to make the best of our choices. At some point in our lives, we might feel the urgent need to make out and decide the direction which we desire to follow in order too reach our destination. However difficult it might seem, we make it through and there we start off happily on our chosen path. The one, for which we have a fire inside our hearts, the one for which we have thought we would never give up, until we reach our desired point. Following it thinking of the goal and the happiness we dream of, makes it so easy for us to continue on that one. And everything seems pretty smooth. But wait! Isn't life defined by twists? Aren't our hearts often deceived by ourselves?

So here comes the beginning of the turn! We have people around us who think we are crazily stupid because of the choices we make. Of course in the beginning it doesn't matter to us. In fact, we don't even pay heed to what they think. Pretty cool! And then we have our own spheres- social, relational, personal which often try to pull us back from there. Again, we have already made the choice, so we stick to it and concentrate only on the reasons which made us go for a particular path thinking that we have made a choice in life, discarding all that we did not want to do.

And then starts the second stage. We have spent quite sometime following our hearts. Most of the times, the goal is not achieved in the desired manner easily. We still believe in ourselves and our path. Yet, we have something that starts to creep in from the little crack in the wall of our own plans. This crack is an obvious one, created unknowingly all this time, of which we are unaware. So somewhere at the back of our minds, we start wondering if the critics are right. This might not be accepted by our hearts, but we do start wondering. Add to it, the stories we come to know about those who made it through for their choices, we give way to a secret doubt- a doubt on our choice, a doubt on ourselves.

Which brings the last stage. We have already spent too much time watching all this around us, and by now we are still somewhere on the way. At this point, we start wondering if there is something really wrong. We start contemplating upon the reasons and slowly upon the choice we made. Unknowingly, we come to the point where we stop believing in it and wonder how it would have been, had we made some other choice. Those who think again, might survive this stage and reject the newly developed thoughts, continuing on their paths. Sadly, maximum of us tend to follow something else, being tired of the choice we made, or simply give up, thinking that it was a destined incident with us, and very uncommon.

Well, I think it happens with everyone. Some of us would agree, others may not accept, but would agree silently for sure. And the biggest mistake that we make in this scenario explained above is that we forget exactly what we had thought of remembering as the reason for our choices made. Yes! When we had made our choice, we satisfied our reasoning with the simple logic that we are humans and we have our own intellect to make our choices. Why forgetting it now? We are humans! We have the right to make mistakes, isn't it? And being humans, it is obvious to get under pressure, have doubts, restart from anywhere when we think and of course to correct our mistakes. It is natural if we get depressed, tired or distracted from the far off lights. But after all that happens, we simply give up because we wonder if it is only with us.

So we might make mistakes, have doubts, reason out and yet get distracted from the paths we chose long back, but believe me, there will always be a point where we will remind ourselves of what we are meant to be. If we hadn't made that choice in the first place, there must have been a reason for that, and that reason always remains, even if just in the background. So even if we think some other path will lead us there and think of abandoning our choice, then at some point there will be an intuition. The one, which will bring us back to our originally desired path. It will remind us of the peace it brings, the passion which is only workable for that one path, the happiness when we dream of it. That voice might be feeble, we might have to try a little more to listen to it, but it will be there. I myself have experienced it. And once we have heard it, we come back to our own path, with a desire stronger than before, being more focused this time.

So go on, listen to that voice, don't give up and continue with the path already chosen! It will surely lead you there.

Bon Voyage!

Yes, I proudly say that I belong to Jabalpur!

To those of you who had never heard of Jabalpur before,

Yes, it is a city in the heart of India. It is a city where life takes beautiful turns, owe it to the places or to the people you will meet here. I am from Jabalpur, and being addressed as a 'Jabalpurian' is indeed a matter of pride for me.

Sometime back, one of my very good friends(who had stayed in South India for quite sometime) told me that he often had to explain people about the whereabouts of his city, because those in the far east or far south did not know where Jabalpur is, so he preferred to say that he belonged to M.P. During my stay in Trivandrum for some time, I had a similar experience. People from most of the Southern India seemed to have heard of the place for the first time. One day I saw another colleague of mine from the North-East, trying to explain a South Indian, where exactly his city was in West Bengal.

Well, that scene, though it seemed entertaining to me, left me touched. When he could do so, I wondered why it was so difficult for many of us to explain our whereabouts. After all, a vibrant and rich-cultured city like Jabalpur has a beauty that needs to be explored at least once in a lifetime, and as a resident of this lovely city, it was my obligation to let people know where I belonged to. It might seem crazy and I admit that it was nothing as an effort to salute the spirit of my city, yet I choose this way to express my love for my city.

You might have heard of Jabalpur for the famous Bheraghat waterfalls. Of course, that is one of our heritage sites that we are proud of. But there is lot more to Jabalpur apart from that. Trust me, only a person who has lived in this city will understand what I am trying to say. And what I am saying is a feeling from the bottom of my heart, with many unexplained feelings and memories that leave me mesmerized, especially after I have lived for sometime in South India and in one of the so-called advanced mini metro cities. In fact, one of my colleagues back in Trivandrum had expressed his surprise for talented people coming from Jabalpur, to which I had a long answer for him.

I say it with a sigh that I always get a longing for my city whenever I am there. And once I am home, I go back with a lot of reluctance. There is a life running on every street and every corner of the city. Be it the landscapes around the city, the awesome places that surround us, the people who reside here. Yes, it is rightly called the 'Cultural Capital' of M.P. Jabalpur houses the High Court of our state apart from other important offices.

If you ever get a chance, definitely visit the city during any festive season. We celebrate every festival with our hearts. The city gets a new life be it on Diwali, Holi, Dussehra, Eid, New Year, Lohdi or Christmas. In fact, if you do not know, then definitely visit the city for the Punjabi Dussehra celebration in our oldest stadium. The grand occasion is one of the finest and famous all over the country.

The best part about Jabalpur is that we do not judge you or favour you on the basis of your origin. It will not matter more to us if you can speak in Hindi, Tamil, Malyalam or in Marathi, that we will favour you more. Of course, it will not be less favourable either. You will always be welcomed with an open heart and blended into the city with its genuine love. You will become a Jabalpurian too once you are here.

Talking about education, we proudly have one of India's oldest medical colleges and our Engineering college has one of the oldest Machine labs of Asia. We have a stream of talent that blossoms every now and then. Not just students, we have talented people, who are now spread across the country, all bringing glory to our city.

Jabalpur proudly houses so many of the Ordinance and Defence factories and of course the GRC cantonment. If you know, it is the zonal headquarter for West Central Railways. I am sure you would not have cared to hear about the Bargi Dam or M.P.E.B., which apart from the resources, offers places so beautiful that you will never forget them.

We do have malls, coffee shops and shopping plazas to hang out, but we are not addicted to doing that. In every locality you visit, you will find a variety of cultures and places to go out for every occasion. From the elegant and classy places to the oldest places of historical interest, from the places where you will find peace to the hustle and bustle of common people in the markets, you will find everything here.

Oh and did I mention the most beautiful aspect of the city, the mesmerizing banks of River Narmada. If you have been to Gwarighat on a moonlit night, you will never need any other heaven. It is so peaceful to feel the breeze quietly on your face. In the mornings, you will surely be awakened by some religious songs being played somewhere in a distance. Apart from being proud to be near the cleanest river of India, we have a variety of seasons, that you will not experience anywhere else.

Well, apart from summer and monsoon, have you heard of a winter like the North, accompanied by rainfall, every time it chooses to increase the beauty of its chill? If not, then Jabalpur is the place. And you know, if you are a resident of this city, every street that you visit will bring back a bunch of memories with tears and smiles, that go on forever. Of course, it is possible that you will get to see somebody you know and they will greet you as if they have seen you after a long time, every time you meet them.

Even if you take some time out to visit your own terrace in the evenings, you will relive a peaceful journey of your own self into the city. And there apart from the birds in the sky, you will get to watch the usual commercial airplanes and from the defence air base as well.

Phew! I have said so much about Jabalpur, yet I am sure I have missed out a lot you know. It was just a glance of this city where I have lived. Do visit once. You will know it is all true. You cannot leave from here without falling in love with it. I have, and wherever I remain, my heart lives in this city of hearts, for which I am proud of being here.

:')

Somewhere I see myself...

There are some days that are far behind since they passed,

I might not want to live them  again,

and some which await the occurence amongst the ones with that hazy mist,

to feel what remains of this journey ahead,

there are some nights that just rolled on without making their presence get noticed,

I might be scared to mention how they affected me,

and some which never came when they were looked upon,

which remain to be experienced sometime,

there are some moments that did not go the way they were expected to be,

I might not remember them anymore,

and some which just appeared from nowhere unexpectedly,

which I would want to see everyday,

there are also some roads that were not even intended to be walked upon,

which taught me what to remember  and what not to do,

yet some which are still chased to walk upon even after the footsteps being barred for that,

which would be the everlasting ones to be traversed,

there are some stories which were never meant to be written,

and they gave memories that were inside,

and some which were the ones wished for 'always',

which might be the ones awaited to chase oneself,

there are some pages which were not needed to be scanned,

which might've left unnecessary pauses and impressions,

yet some which are still waiting to be gone through,

which would create a legend of who I am,

there are some lines which were written to create blunders,

which will never be read again,

yet some which are waiting to reveal all that should be,

which would be written someday,

there are some doors which were not to be opened,

which brought unseen fears and mysteries,

which would never be understood by me,

and some which wait to be unlocked one day,

by all that remains for the bliss yet to come,

there are some mirrors that should've never seen this real self,

which made an ugly impression of oneself,

and some which would see who I may be one day,

to feel the beauty within, yet  unseen,

there are some drops I felt touching me in days of depths,

which might be the last ones to have seen me that way,

and some I would want to get me wet,

to see me immersed in them when I find the life in me,

there are some chilly winds that made me shiver secretly in fear,

which might never be fearful again,

but some which I would dream to make me get numb with life,

which would bring a protective warmth with them,

there are some places that I never wished to visit,

which brought surprising turns for me,

yet some waiting in my unseen fantasies to be visited for that bliss,

which I might be blessed with,

there are some people I should've never met in life,

who came and gave a lesson for the world,

but some whom I would always look forward to see,

and there would be many like them always,

there are some dreams that make me feel lost,

which might never be seen by me,

yet some I would always want to see coming to be true,

each day when I breathe,

there are some wishes I had never intended to make,

which brought all they could, to make me thus,

and some which I still wish to be lived one day,

after all my pages are over with the turmoil...

There are some victories yet to be experienced,

there are some blessings yet to be felt,

there are some prices yet to be paid by some,

there are some smiles yet to be seen,

there are some miracles yet to occur...

Amongst the white patches in that red shiny sky which brings the dusk,

I see myself getting ready to bask in another dawn,

a dawn awaited after I found myself from a lost world,

to walk for another battle that awaits a warrior.

Somewhere I see myself as that river that never came to a hault,

the one that kept flowing all through what it could give,

some crossed its path, some flowed along for sometime,

some changed their course of flow with it, wherever it went.

Somewhere I see myself as that cycle of nights and days,

the one that remained no matter what happened,

walking alone or with admirers who left, it did not matter.

Somewhere I see myself as that steady rock,

which stood there facing all the odds to wait for a pleasant morning.

Somewhere I see myself as that drop of rain,

which fell to bring life to some even when it had that grief,

to some it brought life, to others it brought suffering.

Somewhere I see myself as that winter breeze,

which always came with that frost,

when there was nobody who welcomed it.

Somewhere I see myself as that little path in the woods,

which remained even when nobody liked to walk upon it.

Somewhere I see myself as that huge tree,

which grew from a sapling when it was tried to be uprooted.

Somewhere I see myself as the warrior who never gave up,

despite the battles lost in the journey.

Somewhere I see myself as this lady who found a life,

growing up from the girl who learnt who she was,

with or without the world one day,

to shine when she departs from here..

There's something in this heart...

(This one is not just for me but for every loved one and every  friend with whom i share even a single moment of my space, be it in reality or by abstract means...)

When I seem to be busy, too lost in myself

or when I pretend to be too drowsy,

when I seem too engrossed for another step of success,

when I don't even find a second  to sit and think for myself,

when there is too much going on outside that

never leaves a spare moment to relax and I feel..

though I don't have time but at last I know how to be busy....

believe me...even in that haphazard atmosphere,

something runs parallely and all I can say with a sigh....

there's something still on my mind....

and that's the reason why I can make out,

when anybody else does the same...

there's something beneath that cover of noise...

When I stand in a crowd with moments of glee,

when every minute seems to be perfect,

when I can see lights all around and the ecstasy gets reflected,

when I shout and scream partying around,

when it seems that's all I think at that moment....

believe me there's something else too....

yes, there's something unread in my eyes....

and that's the reason I find it when somebody else does the same...

When everybody around me is sad,

when I try to make them foget their pain,

when I tell them that they are strong enough to recover,

when it seems that I have recovered from my long lost wounds,

and have left them back there, strong enough to have walked till here,

when it seems that I have forgotten how people get hurt,

when I smile at them telling them to be happy,

assuring them that I am always there....

believe me I still remember everything....

I have just become this strong to say such words...

but there's something behind my words.....

and that's the reason I know when somebody else speaks..

When I sit relaxed with my loved ones,

when I really feel happy and don't say anything,

or when I don't find words to express my concern,

when I seem to be speechless for something,

when it seems that I am not interested in what's going on,

when I seem too lost in my own world....

believe me I know everything that's on...

and I am here itself...just pondering on what to do...

yes, there's something behind my silence....

and that's the reason I know what silence could mean...

When I laugh heartily at a joke,

when I smile at the innocence of things around me,

when I feel happy from inside,

when I seem to be lucky to have such a good time,

when I keep smiling unnecessarily,

believe me I am here itself...

just trying to cherish all that goes on....

for the time when I would miss all this....

wondering if I'll ever get this back...

yes, there's something behind my smile....

and that's the reason I know every smile says a lot...

When I seem to have changed so much,

from what I used to be....

when every perception of mine seems strange and unusual,

when I seem to be normal and everything seems quiet,

or when things are too swift and I seem careless about them,

when I seem to be at a stupid ease without any sense of understanding...

believe me I am still the same and know everything...

but not sure of what to express for that moment,

I may be too happy or too mournful....

I may be scared about my worst dreams....

I may be too hurt and may be thinking of my desired possessions...

or about the consequences of what I do for myself....

I may be missing my lost dreams and thinking of how to get them back...

I may be busy in treasuring the moments I have now...

but surely I know....every moment deep inside along with everything outside...

there's something else that's unrevealed in my heart....

and that's why I know every heart is too deep to be known....