There's something in this heart...

(This one is not just for me but for every loved one and every  friend with whom i share even a single moment of my space, be it in reality or by abstract means...)

When I seem to be busy, too lost in myself

or when I pretend to be too drowsy,

when I seem too engrossed for another step of success,

when I don't even find a second  to sit and think for myself,

when there is too much going on outside that

never leaves a spare moment to relax and I feel..

though I don't have time but at last I know how to be busy....

believe me...even in that haphazard atmosphere,

something runs parallely and all I can say with a sigh....

there's something still on my mind....

and that's the reason why I can make out,

when anybody else does the same...

there's something beneath that cover of noise...

When I stand in a crowd with moments of glee,

when every minute seems to be perfect,

when I can see lights all around and the ecstasy gets reflected,

when I shout and scream partying around,

when it seems that's all I think at that moment....

believe me there's something else too....

yes, there's something unread in my eyes....

and that's the reason I find it when somebody else does the same...

When everybody around me is sad,

when I try to make them foget their pain,

when I tell them that they are strong enough to recover,

when it seems that I have recovered from my long lost wounds,

and have left them back there, strong enough to have walked till here,

when it seems that I have forgotten how people get hurt,

when I smile at them telling them to be happy,

assuring them that I am always there....

believe me I still remember everything....

I have just become this strong to say such words...

but there's something behind my words.....

and that's the reason I know when somebody else speaks..

When I sit relaxed with my loved ones,

when I really feel happy and don't say anything,

or when I don't find words to express my concern,

when I seem to be speechless for something,

when it seems that I am not interested in what's going on,

when I seem too lost in my own world....

believe me I know everything that's on...

and I am here itself...just pondering on what to do...

yes, there's something behind my silence....

and that's the reason I know what silence could mean...

When I laugh heartily at a joke,

when I smile at the innocence of things around me,

when I feel happy from inside,

when I seem to be lucky to have such a good time,

when I keep smiling unnecessarily,

believe me I am here itself...

just trying to cherish all that goes on....

for the time when I would miss all this....

wondering if I'll ever get this back...

yes, there's something behind my smile....

and that's the reason I know every smile says a lot...

When I seem to have changed so much,

from what I used to be....

when every perception of mine seems strange and unusual,

when I seem to be normal and everything seems quiet,

or when things are too swift and I seem careless about them,

when I seem to be at a stupid ease without any sense of understanding...

believe me I am still the same and know everything...

but not sure of what to express for that moment,

I may be too happy or too mournful....

I may be scared about my worst dreams....

I may be too hurt and may be thinking of my desired possessions...

or about the consequences of what I do for myself....

I may be missing my lost dreams and thinking of how to get them back...

I may be busy in treasuring the moments I have now...

but surely I know....every moment deep inside along with everything outside...

there's something else that's unrevealed in my heart....

and that's why I know every heart is too deep to be known....

I am Still Understanding it...

Each day life gave me a new lesson, each day I learnt that i wasn't perfect,

in knowing what life could be, and yet each day i realised,

there was much I'd learnt, yet, still more I had to learn,

I happened to sit and gaze at that distant tree that i saw everyday as it grew,

I noticed that it had seen everything, and though it was still the same,

it had changed and learnt, that the changes had to come,

though they came through pain and suffering.

I saw that wall of my terrace, which grew older each day,

and though it was still the same, it had changed in every aspect too,

through its faded appearance, it reflected that it had learnt a lot,

again by losing tears and shedding some moments.

I went through those old books, that i used to read in Kindergarten,

I knew I had learnt a lot since then,but I wished I learnt it again.

It seemed that my first lesson, had been the best one I'd ever got.

The first lesson that I learnt in life, was to be innocent,

to close my eyes and live for the dream i saw,

just because God was with those who were true.

Day by day I realised again,that this wasn't exactly true,

I learnt something each day that was new.

The last lesson that life gave me till now, was to live in reality,

to undergo changes and to know that it was needed for me,

although I realised that even this wasn't perfectly true.

Sometimes i wonder, if the last lesson that i learnt, should have been my first one,

why it happened and i changed through pain,

but then i close my eyes and realise, that even changes could not change the whole of me,

I learnt from my mistakes, and though it hurt, but the memories I got made me joyous,

yes it was all necessary step by step for me to stand and face everything,

and one thing that i found common in that first and last lesson,

was to have faith in God or myself, to believe and walk till all my dreams came true.

Yes it happened with all of us,that ironically we travel in between those two lessons,

and then we realise there's still lots to learn.....

Yes I colud just wipe my tears and smile at myself, and stand up again to walk,

I could just say, "I am still learning, yeah , I am still understanding life.........."

/* I know this will never stop, and even till my last breath I would say the same,

"Yeah, I am still understanding life..........."  */

A Rendezvous with Yourself is all that you need...

The title might make you think what is the sudden need for a rendezvous with yourself. After all, seldom do you get time to talk to your near and dear ones; how, then, talking to yourself would help you; why should you spare time for this. Sometime back, I thought the same. At times in life, you continue going on with the flow, as life brings opportunities. After having faced setbacks, you plan to take turns as they come and adapt yourself to them. You would even enjoy doing your tasks probably. However, from inside, you'll feel that something is missing from your spirit of giving yourself.

At times, it may happen that you feel empty, despite being complete in your life. There is an unexplained mist that surrounds your soul. You know that you need to do something about it, but you cannot understand the problem, because you feel you have everything already. It is the point where you need to wait and watch, to have a rendezvous with yourself, to know whether what you have is really what you wanted always. Life is about taking decisions everyday, from choosing the right kind of food to deciding the fate of a nation. Everyone has to make choices. It is only the matter of choices that differentiates one human being from another. Only choices that create differences in perceptions and lifestyles between known people too.

There is a very famous line from Robert Frost's poem 'The Road Not Taken' that we all must have read-

"Two roads diverged in a wood,

and I took the one less travelled by,

and that has made all the difference"...

Try it out sometime for sure- when you feel lost, frustrated and empty from inside, just do one thing. Go out for a walk with yourself. When you walk on a beach in the evening, or stand in your garden feeling the breeze on your face, it will surely make you meet yourself, the one you had been missing out till now. Once you have found yourself, you will realize those unsaid words, the forgotten desires, your unspoken wishes and some more that you might have walked away from, in the course of time. A wave of joy will surely make you take that single step needed to create a difference and stand apart from the world, where you will see yourself as never before.

Human mind is driven by what it sees. It is a general phenomenon that you might get illusioned by some charms that attract you for sometime. In the end, you will come to know that the real thing was always inside you, but you ignored it. You got so preoccupied with the world that you'd forgotten yourself. You never looked back to your roots to know yourself. However, the day you sit back and think of it, you'll know that it is all about the peace that your heart can give to you, once you promise to listen to it and follow the right thing that it tells you to do. It is always better to hold on to something that does not make you feel drained out, hurt or frustrated, because if nothing in this world is permanent, then you have no right to deprive yourself of the dreams that you can make true by merely following them.

Go on and live the dream that you really want to live.

WHAT'S YOUR MAGIC MOMENT?

On reading the title, you may wonder what it is about, but what I am going to say over here is something very obvious to all of us. However, as with every other thing that is obvious, we tend to ignore it too.

Everyday each human being has a particular routine, a particular set of chores to be performed. Everybody is busy: so busy that at times, they forget what they had actually wanted to do with their lives. Also, it might occur to some that they are comfortable in the kind of cover that they have created for themselves so far. Seldom do they think what life could be outside that so-called safe shell. People question themselves what they can do and conclude from the surface that today was like yesterday and tomorrow is going to be the same too. They often complaint that life is very unfair. It did not give them any blessings ever. All their chances  to rejoice were taken away.

However, they forget that they will understand the miracles of life only when they surrender themselves and allow the unexpected to happen. Yes, you have to take risks. That is what I mean at the first instance. A person who does not take risks is really unlucky. Perhaps the person would never be disappointed, perhaps the person won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream, a desire to follow. But when the person looks back, because at some point everybody looks back, he/she would realize that the magic moments have passed by and there was nothing that was done with the miracles or talents bestowed by God. Just because, the fear of losing everything made it all buried inside. The point to regret would not bring things back. Sometimes when you decide not to change, and look back after a point of time, just to discover that you have changed, you'll find that the unexpected journey brought miracles too, along with the sufferings.

Everyday, life gives you something or the other to rejoice about. There is a moment, may be small, when you can change everything that makes you unhappy. You may pretend that such a moment does not exist, that you haven't perceived it. But if you really pay attention, you will find that it is there waiting for you to recognize it. It may occur when you do something small, may be just putting your belongings on the desk or during a quiet tea break or when you sing or write to yourself. But that moment exists, when the power of all the stars becomes your happiness and you can perform miracles. Happiness is sometimes a conquest within yourself. You know that you can be happy by the miracle but you fear to move ahead. Your magic moment helps you to change and sets you off in search of your dreams. It might make you suffer, it might even bring disappointments, but all this is temporary. When you look back, you will be proud of the journey you took by following your heart.

It happens at times when an uncontrollable sadness grips you because your magic moment has passed and you did nothing about it. You have to listen to the child behind your grown up mind, the child you had once been, which still exists somewhere. The child understands magic moments very well. You may ignore its voice, but cannot stop it. If you cannot look at life with the enthusiasm and innocence of a child, you have no point to be called mature. Those who try to kill the natural instincts inside them commit a sin. Why can't you pay attention to what the child inside you tells you to do. You should not be embarrassed by this child. This child should never be scared because it lives alone inside you. 

You must allow the child to take the reigns of your life. The child knows that everyday is different from every other day. The child should be allowed to feel loved. You must please this child even if it means you have to act in ways that seem stupid to others or the ways you are not used to. Human wisdom is merely madness for God. It is only when you listen to your soul, that your energy will make you shine.

 So, go on. If the child in you loves to walk alone, singing to yourself; or if it rejoices in feeling those first showers of rain or the night breeze on the face alone on the terrace, then pour yourself into it. If the child wants you to play outside despite your age, or if it wants to create and give happiness, go ahead and spread the joy. If the child says, you want to have an ice cream on a winter night; or if it wants to create moments with the ones you want; shouting happily for something you feel, or if it loves to do or say something that might make you seem stupid, but would make it happy; go do it. You will discover the immense joy that life could bring in a clueless planned schedule. You will discover your magic moment and believe me, you'll never forget how you felt for that time. 

Remember, wise people are wise because they know that being a natural child inside them and surrendering to its voice of joy and love is obvious and they do it. The foolish are foolish only because they think that they understand everything and can control it. 

Go and discover your magic moment today!

How Practical Are You?

Some days back, I coincidentally had a discussion with an old friend. An incident at that time made me wonder about an important aspect that we often mention. It is about being practical in the sense we want. How often have we found people saying ‘so and so person is an emotional fool’ or ‘I am a practical person’. How  often do we wonder the real sense of being practical or do we even think how practical such people are?

People who call themselves ‘strong’ or  ‘practical’ forget that they are humans. On an average, human beings spend 95% of their lifetime in experiencing happiness, love, ecstasy, pain, joy, sorrow and 50% in expressing such emotions. Expression of these emotions can vary in many ways. Some might just express it calmly and others may not bother about hiding their expressions. However, it cannot be denied that every human being, once in a week, has this feeling of expressing something, with an enthusiasm or pain.

It is a common presumption that those who easily show their emotions or can’t hide them are not practical. Some may even believe that they are weak, pessimistic and will find it difficult to survive in the world. However, I believe that these so-called emotional fools are the ones who are in fact very strong, stand apart from the crowd positively and even survive in the world leaving their mark. The only reason why it happens is because they have the courage to accept and express their joys, anxieties, fears. They do not see expression of emotions as a sign of weakness. They have experienced more such instances than others. Hence, they know the value and insight of these aspects better, and have a better understanding of many situations in life. In fact, their past has made them stronger than many others. They have moved over many situations, yet they know what makes them genuine. Moreover, these people will never step back from their expressions and will take the pains to judge and will bravely sort out the solutions in life without giving up. These people can be called the real heroes.

If we talk about those who call themselves practical, they actually call themselves thus to hide their reluctance to accept things naturally under a cover called ‘practical attitude’. They never talk about emotions or the beauty or sorrows in life naturally. They hate talking about such aspects. In fact. They even mock at people who do so. The question that arises is ‘Are they really practical?’ The answer that I put forward is a strong ‘No’. I justify my answer, in case it seems like a clueless but over smart reply. Every so-called ‘practical’ person in life has something or the other that they find very close to them. It is the key factor that arises their emotions out. There is no such person in the world who has not expressed joy, sorrow, fear, love or distress in life ever. It is only the variation of instances. With some people, it is natural expression. Whereas with others, it is just the modified artificial version that makes them seem practical.

The fact forgotten over here is that it takes great courage to be like a child- bold, fearless, genuine, strong. A child does not fear to say the truth. A child never wonders about what others may think. A  child is never biased in judgement and has no resentments for his expressions. However, a child is never weak actually. We often forget that in everybody’s life,  there are everyday instances of ‘intermingled  probabilities’. The other day somebody asked me, what does that term coined by me, actually mean. It is relevant to every being existing in this universe. We all have some goals, dreams, desires, wishes in life. This is applicable even to the so-called practical people. It often happens that failures, heartbreaks, pain disturb us everyday, and the accomplishment of one dream, desire, wish depends on the accomplishment of others. They are intermingled with each other. Moreover, they are all probable. After all, mathematics and physics are applicable to the real world. In such intermingled probabilities, it is our own perception how to behave. Our judgement and actions decide our future, but I am sure nobody has ever felt emotionless at critical points of life. It is impossible to hide the intensity of that child-like innocent anticipation, enthusiasm and fear. How, I wonder, people call themselves practical then. To me, it is a great pride and freedom  to express what I want to say, genuinely.

I think, if you have read till here, you’ll definitely think twice before calling yourself ‘very practical’ again.

What I say here is:

‘I see a part of myself free in that glimpse,

I see that I live with realities,

 yet my hopes and dreams always exist,

I see that I fear to take a step,

yet I dream to reach there,

I see that pain comes everyday,

yet I want to be happy and express it in every way,

I see that people are opportunists,

Yet I create bonds with those I meet,

I see it is foolish to keep walking at times,

Yet I continue when I love to do so,

I see that I make mistakes mostly,

Yet I believe and follow my ideas strongly,

I see that it does not turn out to be favourable always,

Yet my hopes of acceptance survive with the intermingled probabilities.’

It isn't chilly, Its beautiful....Winter comes for me..

Phew! It might seem crazy for a grown up to start writing about the favourite season. You would say, "Nuts??" Even I had never imagined in life that I would present it as to why I have always loved winter and wait with the countdown to let it come and make me live, rejoice. Oh! I forgot some winter haters would be reading this and would be in disagreement. Well that brings me to the reason for posting this, I recently saw more than just a few sweet people I know, who hate winter, or are scared of the chill and the cold it brings, and hence, was tempted to let them see the unexplored beauty that this season brings. Here, I am a mere winter-lover and this is just a futile attempt but a gist of what depth and love I find from October to February.

Though when I walk without a jacket or stand outside shivering, I am taken as another insane girl, but I love it. Now, it is not just lately, I had realized a few years back that I had always loved winter, and as I grew up, I got more reasons to do so. As a child of course, it seemed painful to come out of the blanket, get ready for school, and shiver in the blazer/sweater. Being fully covered too, did not work at times(especially as it is said,the era of global cooling reduces temperature every year). I am no supergirl, I shivered equally. Yes I did! But again, I loved to do so. How you would ask now? Well, I had endless reasons for that. Winter, in school days, always brought Diwali (my favourite festival). Favourite, not for the crackers, but for the lights that gave me a feeling of unknown joy and victory. Now, you would say even Holi comes in the chill, but sorry I do not like the way it is celebrated, putting colours without a thought on others. Coming back to Winter, I loved the season of festivals. Be it the typical brahmin family diwali puja all night, or the festivals that followed. Christmas in the utter chill brought immense joy to me. Being in those schools, I could enjoy the carols season in December. Though, we had unit tests too, but that didn't spoil the joy. It was on chilly nights, that we welcomed new year as children, and still do. How  could I hate such a season!

Tracing back again, the most lovable part that leaves me mesmerized in winter is the night and the breeze, the awesome Darjeeling weather(my favourite place), and that feeling of surrendering myself to it. Somehow the love that I have for my songs or my poems or the books I read, or the places I visit, it all accumulates and forms the love for winter.Yes, I love to go to the terrace at night without a jacket, and open my arms to let the breeze hug me, and give everything it brings, that ecstasy! Of course, I feel the chill, but when I shiver, that warmth of the love I find for nature protects me, it brings to me the beauty and not the chill. I love it when I see a sky with the moon, and the breeze touches my face, it makes me fly when I think of the love, the eternal love and completeness that can be found in nature this way, the one that exists inside all of us, but seldom recognized. I love to keep the windows down when I drive in winter nights, to peep out into the balcony at midnight, just to get a wave of breeze. Another lovable aspect, especially in Jabalpur about winter is that it never comes without rain. Yes! another favourite thing for me. When it rains, everybody loves to get wet without a raincoat. Now, just try it in winter too, with that feeling of love I explained above. Let those drops go from your face to your soul and make you complete. God has sent this miracle for you! How can you miss it!

I was always the last one to start wearing jackets or increase their number and the first to stop wearing jackets or to reduce their number in college too. Friends saw me as insane plus a show-off, a girl trying to show that she is daring! I never minded but that was definitely not the reason. However, I did not explain them my reasons of course. Whenever at 2 in the night, I went for a hair wash(using cold water like always), my mother used to think I am trying to challenge my health, but that was not so. So sweet of her, that she surrendered to my love for winter.Again, I am not trying to show off that I do not feel cold. Everybody would, but just telling some sweet people how I love winter, and wait for it every year to shower the blessings of that feeling God sends for me. Hence, I am just trying to say, go once, experience it, it welcomes you with open arms, fall in love with the winter season, it comes only for you!!

The Concept Of Soulmates

This is just a review that I had on what I read about the concept of soulmates. This is a completely personal outlook and everybody might have different views.

I do not know if the kind of immortality that Paulo Coelho has explained in ‘Brida’ about the everlasting existence of every part of the soul that lives inside every being that exists on the Earth is true, but there is something called faith and belief, that is far beyond the materialistic world and much ahead of the concept of worldly matters. If the soul exists beyond the world, then after peace, there is a stage of salvation too, and if we human beings attain it during our lifetime, we have achieved the eternal truth of an individual’s existence. It is true that in every incarnation, that part of the soul which exists inside our body, has a part of it somewhere on the Earth, the one which had been a part of us in our previous births, and it is a fact, that this part had been the one, which was split into two when we left our body in the previous incarnation, but it had never left the universe actually. A part of it remained here, wandering in the universe, and the other part was the one which came into our body in the next incarnation.

According to the ‘Theory of Relativity’ by Einstein and even the facts of science, this idea has been supported well, that everything that was once created in the universe, always remains here, because nothing can ever escape the Earth. It just undergoes phase transformations, be it body or soul, as we have studied for every particle by the ‘Law of Conservation of Energy and Matter’. So, it is comprehended that the soul that we had once left as a part is still there on the Earth in this incarnation, and this is the soul which is actually a part of us, and completes our being. It is possible that we may not be able to recognise that soul, but this is true, that the one who possesses that part of our soul from any of our incarnations is our soul mate. There are ways explained in spiritual sciences to recognize the soul mate. It is said that after gaining the complete knowledge of them, the person can see a point of light above the left shoulder of his/her soul mate and feel the strong attracting waves between them. Nevertheless, for common human beings, who are not aware of the deep knowledge, it is said that the soul mate has a special kind of light in the eyes that is visible only to the counterpart. Also, the strong waves of emotions can be felt.

However, because of so many incarnations and subdivisions of our original soul, it so happens that the oldest subdivision becomes weaker in strength. Plus, it is possible that there are more than one soul mates on this Earth in one incarnation that have the same root soul! It is even possible that we meet none, one or more of them. In that case, where more than one soul mates are concerned, there is always a phase of suffering. It is not necessary that the spiritual soul mate who is our counterpart remains with us forever. In fact, it seldom happens in reality. It might be short-termed, when we meet our soul mate and recognise him/her, just for a moment , but it is always beautiful and has an everlasting effect, wherein the memory remains in the soul even after we leave the body.

We humans might be living in the illusion that we want money, power or fame, but the actual quest that humans have during their life unconsciously, is for happiness, peace and their counterpart. The journey gets completed when knowledge meets power and the wisdom of magic is created. The discontentment is caused when this path to traverse seems complicated in the search. When these soul mates have to go apart, humans undergo the worst phase of suffering and loneliness that could harm the soul, or could even deviate them from the path of peace. However, it can be retraced once the counterpart is united, wherein the search gets completed when salvation is to be achieved at the time they depart from the world. Since the two souls are a part of each other, it is believed that the strong waves of emotions felt by one soul, be it severe pain, happiness or discontentment, are in some way, felt by the other one too, might be unknowingly. That probably explains the beliefs that soul mates who are away, can always sense the intensity of emotions by a kind of telepathy. It is possible that consciously they might be thinking of something else, but the subconscious mind can feel a sudden rise or fall of the energy waves within and make out that something has happened. It is explained by the scientists as a tinge of waves in the mind, getting affected irrespective of the present normal conscious state of one’s own soul.