Dear Newborn Feminists(primarily out of social media),
The social media including all your favourite hangout networks is flooded either with inspirational videos about how women need to fight against men or with pictures and open letters bringing all men into a circle of suspicion, remorse, guilt just because they are men--hence, chauvinists. All men around you are rapists. They always have to do something to offend women. Oh yes, they are born to dictate us and we have to fight against them. After all, it is the 21st Century, we have been given the freedom to protest, to speak, to fight and why not fight these men and tell the world how great we are. Yes, we have public platforms. Just go on and on about how weak, tortured, molested we are by each and every man out there. These men--they never want to watch us rise because of the built-in ego. Men will always be chauvinists. We are the light. We will be the saviours. We are feminists.
Hold on! Do you even know what feminism means? Or for that matter, what even chauvinism portrays?
Male Chauvinism is nothing but the belief that women are inferior to men, and should not be allowed to enjoy the status of equality and rights as men would do. Before I get into the scenarios where you might experience male chauvinism, let me take you around yourself for a while. Do you have male friends, colleagues or teachers whom you've known for a while? How many of them are rapists, or for that matter, objectify you personally and make you feel uncomfortable? Have they ever denied you of any social privileges that you would want to enjoy? (In fact, you might have been given special privileges at times). Come a little closer to yourself now. Have you known your father or your brother? Do they look at you or at other women with a sense of objectification? Have they harassed anybody? Does your mother feel insecure and downtrodden for her rights with them? How about your husband or your soul mate? Does he deny you of your personal space or rights? Do you live according to his choices? Has he made your life no less than that of a slave?
If your answer is no, then you are most welcome to read further. Women, no doubt are being given freedom so much more than they used to get 50 years back, to the extent that they might even misuse it freely. Of course this was needed to bring them at par with their counterparts socially, economically, personally, judicially. That is what Feminism means, isn't it? It was absolutely correct to bring feminism into light. Equality of rights for women, as it says, and it is nothing more than that. You are surely at par if you analyze. You can take your own decisions, you can study, make friends, love, marry, visit people, explore the world as per your desires. It is good, isn't it? You can work as per your own wish and build a professional life for yourselves. Ask your mother if she enjoyed the same freedom and you'll know how blessed you are. Obviously, your daughters will get more freedom than you do, because each generation of parents will be more understanding than the previous one.
If you are raised in an atmosphere of equality, so has your brother been, and if your mother has supported you with this, so has your father. They are men, if you remember. And just like your family, every other family has raised their children in the light of this atmosphere, the extent of which, may vary, but the foundation remains the same. These men, who come out of some families, are not all chauvinists. Look around yourself and observe. They understand feminism, they support women. They know the importance of working in collaboration with women rather than pushing them to the darkness. They are aware that giving equal freedom to women is going to light their own society in some way.Our mothers were not foolish to sacrifice for our families. A strong lady does not need special privileges. She can stand for justice and fight against injustice. She is aware of her responsibilities and knows how to nurture the society despite the odds, rather than being rebellious unnecessarily to show her strengths.
But wait! You are a newborn feminist. You have to fight against men because of some incidents which prove that men belong to that filth-covered race, which objectifies women. Who gave them that point to do so? You did, didn't you? And you target all of them, because your families and friends don't have such men. Haven't you tried to take your freedom for granted at times? Surely, those are your choices, but ignoring the norms of a society which works on co-dependence is not really smart. I do not say that men are as noble as angels, but we all have demons and angels inside us, and we keep learning everyday to remain as angels. Justice needs to be demanded and fought for, no doubt, whether for men or women, but not at the cost of the whole race, which diminishes the innocent people too.
You might have chauvinists around you too, and they need to be taught a lesson for sure. But do you think writing open letters, making videos which inspire women to be rebellious at unnecessary instances, or by abusing men will do any good to those who suffer, men or women. If you do not want to change your surname, share your household chores, stay out till late, have your own life, that is a matter of mutual understanding between you and your better half. But if you want to have sex with whosoever you want to, and not bring your child(his too) into the world, it has to be a choice, not based simply on your opinion. He has an equal say in that. And that doesn't make him a chauvinist at all. If you blindly want to follow your choices for the sake of freedom, please don't ruin anybody else's life for that. With the trend of any burning issue going viral, you may have the freedom to support it blindly, but you cannot ignore the insensibility in doing so. If you party somewhere and forget the social norms, you are independent. If a man does that and stops you, he is a chauvinist. You can abuse men because they are dogs. What message are you giving to the generation that looks up to you? Rebellion towards everything that leads to loneliness, breaking of families, more social vices in the name of modern culture--everything in the name of the so-called feminism? Oh please! Go and learn what it is first. If your choice can affect and ruin somebody else's life, then it isn't solely your choice for sure.
This whole hyped-war of feminism for fighting against men in every possible way, looked exciting when you were a teen. But have you ever seen your parents being concerned about it? Just imagine how your days would have been if everyday you heard this conversation at home--
Your Mom- "You are such a male chauvinist! You never let me do anything."
Your Dad- " Oh it is you who is a feminist. You never understood me."
Ever heard that! No. Because your parents know the fact that they are mutually dependent on each other. They have accepted that equality is for both the genders and they have to play their parts well. They know that women and men are strong in their own ways and they don't need to prove it to each other childishly. And that is how they have brought you up too. Then why the hype when you consider yourself to be a grown up? This world will be a better place if you work towards making it thus, and believe.
Now you might surely remind me of the multiple rape incidents across the nation or of molestation that you might have faced as a child. You might even say that women are still not safe because decent men are even more advanced and objectify women silently. True! I agree that men are like that, but there is a difference between being cautious and being rebellious. You might even remind me of the numerous women in the remote areas who still haven't been touched by this wave of 'freedom for women' in any sense at all. So what difference will writing open letters or making rebellious videos make to them? Feminism has a lot to do with their lives too, which apparently, is not concerned only with choices, dresses, sex, or partners. They have more serious problems to deal with, and such messages are more like "Tales Of Arabian Nights" for them. If you really want to work for feminism to bring all women at par with men, step out of your comfort zones and do something outside the screen, rather than trying to show how superior, different, outspoken you are. Fight against injustice equally when men get tortured or when women take advantage of their freedom too. Walk together and you will see how much support you get from those around you(from men too).That would be some feminism.
A Woman(Feminist Too).
A Woman(Feminist Too).